[God in the Yard] “invitation to go nowhere”
Sunday, 14 November 2010
“On the Sabbath, in an act of hiding, versus true absence, we draw a circle around a day, maybe by lighting a candle and saying a prayer and letting go. We veil our work for a time, the way night hides the things of day, and it is okay….
“Letting go can be a scary prospect; maybe we can’t imagine doing it because we’ve come to mistrust that life moves in cycles. Or maybe, and this is probably somehow related, we don’t believe that hiddenness can be a partner to presence.
“Sabbath is a weekly invitation to go nowhere, to believe that hiddenness is part of presence. I know that some say Sabbath is just about God, that it’s not about resting up to be more productive, that it should not mean ‘nowhere goes somewhere’ because we shouldn’t be so focused on the ‘somewheres.’ But I believe that’s exactly what Sabbath may be designed to do. Not in a simple cause and effect relationship, with productivity being the final goal, but more in the sense of rhythm that sees nowhere-somewhere, presence-hiddenness, as inextricably linked, with God on both sides of the dance.”
L.L. Barkat, God in the Yard, p. 75-76.
When I was in college, I watched my peers and my friends pour themselves into the work of study. I attended a competitive, rigorous-academic school, and it felt like life or death to use every available moment for study to get the good grades most of us had grown up receiving. My life, however, was seeping out bit by little bit with an as-yet-undiagnosed infection, and I was unable to carry the load it seemed everyone else was carrying. I tried dropping classes, scheduling my study, cutting corners, burying myself in the stress, hoping that I would at least feel productive.
But my body couldn’t handle the constant stress, and I was forced to make a lifestyle change that seemed ludicrous in the face of the workload. I began taking Sundays off from studying. Sundays and Wednesday nights. I was too weak to go to church most Sundays, so I rested or walked slow around the campus or read or played the piano.
I didn’t really realize I was keeping a Sabbath; I just needed the rest.
Because of my experience, Pete and I made a choice early in our marriage that we would take Sundays to rest. We’ve lived a decently high-stress life for most of our marriage, and this has been really key for us to reset. Lately, with Pete coming home at daybreak on Sunday mornings, it has been essential for us to take the day slow. I don’t process photos on Sundays. I don’t hold myself to any to-do list. We clean the house and do our laundry and sometimes we shop for groceries. We sigh our way into evening on Sundays, letting go the pressure of the unfinished and the must-do for a day.
Sometimes we take drives and go nowhere for a little while. We hide in our home, make it a home. Today, we hung pictures, and more curtains. We talked a bit and some old, closed doors re-opened slow.
Jesus said that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath, and we have been so busy recently we understand why we need that rest. Sometimes, I want to push through, process more photos, stay on that roll I was on the Saturday before, but my heart begs the rest, and I give in and take Sunday to remember how to see again.
So for my puttering-around-to-it-as-I-have-time photo prompt for my journey through God in the Yard (this one is for chapter 8, Sabbath), I wanted to capture my rest, my nothing-too-complicated, my clean, the light I learn to notice again as the sun comes around and I see beyond my computer screen and my camera out into the world again.
This is my nowhere, and the light – the invitation from the first waking rays of dawn to the last of the quiet day.
related:
God is present in my dark
see? this is who i am.
remember how / the birds were eaten / by the sky
the weeping: freeze-frame celebration
“how grace used to drift in with the night”
quiet spaces
“playing toward God”
“find / the moon”
No. 1 — November 14th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I was just reading the blogpost at OnBeing, in which Krista Tippett, interviewing rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, shared the latter’s definition of Sabbath: as a time to focus on “the things that are important but not urgent”. That prompts a great deal of thought, like LL’s own, like your own here.
Maureen´s last [type] ..Saturday Sharing My Finds Are Yours
No. 2 — November 14th, 2010 at 5:26 pm
ah… so true.
today my husband and I went for a hike in the on again off again rain. it was more beautiful than I could have imagined. and so overdue.
deb´s last [type] ..in praise of wonder
No. 3 — November 14th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
This is beautiful, Kelly. Thanks for sharing more of your story.
For the last three years, my sabbaths have included a lot of sleeping. Caring for my mom in her cancer and then the hard work of grief have worn me out. I figure it’s OK with God.
No. 4 — November 14th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stacey29lincoln, Kelly Sauer. Kelly Sauer said: "Invitation to Go Nowhere." My newest installment (about Sabbath) about @llbarkat's #GodintheYard. http://bit.ly/ddVE8n #freshpost [...]
No. 5 — November 14th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Lovely post Kelly. We keep the Sabbath on Sundays too – slow mornings without stress, eating a hot breakfast together, playing in the yard or taking a walk, on grey days we sit in the living room and read or play cards – it’s just all about togetherness and enjoying each other for us. Glad to see we’re not the only ones focusing on what is important. Hope today was relaxing and rejuvenating for you!
amanda´s last [type] ..this moment
No. 6 — November 14th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
I first started thinking about Sabbath keeping when reading “Mudhouse Sabbath.” We too keep close guard over our Sabbaths. The first half of the day is spent at worship, which I love. After lunch is naps, maybe a hike, whatever. We try to keep no agenda. Josh is often tired from leading worship and so we try not to have commitments that involve others. We often talk about the message and how to apply it to our lives in the evening. It’s my favorite day. I’m reading “Tortured for Christ” and was freshly reminded today how undeservedly blessed we here at this time in history in the U.S.
Danielle´s last [type] ..Butternut Squash White Bean Stew
No. 7 — November 15th, 2010 at 9:22 am
I love your “nowhere.” It’s beautiful. :)
L.L. Barkat´s last [type] ..On- In and Around Mondays- About a Girl
No. 8 — November 15th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I have L.L.’s God in the Yard and am planning to start it as soon as I finish my current study. Your post makes me want to rush into it–irony, huh? :) BTW, I love the quote you have from Madeleine below. It seems we both are writer-mamas who’ve dealt with illness, and are desperately in need of God’s grace and strength. I, too, dream big, fall hard, live on grace–but I’m glad we’re through the diaper stage. Glad we’re both in the HCB network. Your photos never cease to inspire me. :)
Dena Dyer´s last [type] ..This Thing I Carry
No. 9 — November 15th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
I love how your list of related posts falls into a poem. And that photo. Wow. Sigh. I just love stopping by here. Feel so filled when I leave.
laura´s last [type] ..Great Migrations
No. 10 — January 21st, 2011 at 2:50 pm
[...] “invitation to go nowhere” God is present in my dark see? this is who i am. remember how / the birds were eaten / by the sky the weeping: freeze-frame celebration “how grace used to drift in with the night” quiet spaces “playing toward God” “find / the moon” [...]